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	<title>Comments on: Finding Love and Romance</title>
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	<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance</link>
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	<lastBuildDate>Wed, 23 Jun 2010 12:59:59 +0000</lastBuildDate>
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		<title>By: Withoutaclue</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-37</link>
		<dc:creator>Withoutaclue</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:14:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-37</guid>
		<description>I am bipolar and somehow have managed to maintain my relationship for 8 years. We have 3 children and i have been hospitalised several times. But he is soooo undertanding and is there for me. He doesnt understand my illness but he just puts up with it. He never throws anything back in my face and makes sure i take my meds. Im really lucky to have him but i dont rely on him.
He says im different and lifeis never boring. You&#039;ll find someone one day. Dont give up. xxxxxx&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am bipolar and somehow have managed to maintain my relationship for 8 years. We have 3 children and i have been hospitalised several times. But he is soooo undertanding and is there for me. He doesnt understand my illness but he just puts up with it. He never throws anything back in my face and makes sure i take my meds. Im really lucky to have him but i dont rely on him.<br />
He says im different and lifeis never boring. You&#8217;ll find someone one day. Dont give up. xxxxxx<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: dave911</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-36</link>
		<dc:creator>dave911</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:12:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-36</guid>
		<description>it is certainly true that for every jack there is a Jill,mental health problems do not preclude you from finding love and romance,why should it?,its not as if you wear a notice around your neck telling the world is it,you have done well to get this far because a lot of self-harmer&#039;s never do so well done you,when love comes you will know and the rest will become history,your already thinking in a positive manner so your focus is good,keep it up girl,it can only get better.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;3 years working on a mental health unit.</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>it is certainly true that for every jack there is a Jill,mental health problems do not preclude you from finding love and romance,why should it?,its not as if you wear a notice around your neck telling the world is it,you have done well to get this far because a lot of self-harmer&#8217;s never do so well done you,when love comes you will know and the rest will become history,your already thinking in a positive manner so your focus is good,keep it up girl,it can only get better.<br /><b>References : </b><br />3 years working on a mental health unit.</p>
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		<title>By: gemstone</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-35</link>
		<dc:creator>gemstone</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:10:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-35</guid>
		<description>Yes I do.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Yes I do.<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: Ally S</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-34</link>
		<dc:creator>Ally S</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:08:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-34</guid>
		<description>no been happily with some one for 4 years now  its great and have big time mental problems&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>no been happily with some one for 4 years now  its great and have big time mental problems<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: m_welikson</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-33</link>
		<dc:creator>m_welikson</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:06:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-33</guid>
		<description>Dear laurara...

I was drawn to your question because it raises many issues that I have wrestled with and pondered. I am not bipolar, but I &quot;know&quot;, (speaking as one who empathizes with people with the disorder), Manic-Depression creates chaos and havoc in a person&#039;s life. One feels that you are not in control of your own mind, a very frightening emotional place to be. 

Also, I am not a shy person, but I have worked with shy people, and respect the fact that it is a temperment, that is to say, an inborn trait. Terry Brazelton, the great pediatrician at Havard Medical School thinks that temperment is evident from birth. 

Neither Manic-Depression nor shyness has to be a handicap, although bipolar illness is stigmatized, even by mental health professionals, who should know better. Manic-Depression, if not, addressed will rob you of a lot of healthy, satisfying experiences, and love is certainly one of the most imortant experiences we all can have. That I can say personally. However, I emphasize, &quot;if not addressed&quot;. There is no reason not to be hopeful about your potential prospects for being loved, falling in love, or simply loving. I am not talking about love as a manic state, which can be hard to distinguish from &quot;falling in love,&quot; a state of mind where one (rightly) feels, great, on top of the world, in a kind of ecstatsy over the lucky object of your affections, (hopefully, it is mutaul). The test that distinguishes love from a pathological elavated state (mania, or hypomania) is that lovers, as a rule do not harm themselves, or others. Lovers, as the poets know, while in love, find this world to be a wonderful place. A lover may buy an expense gift to express his/her deep joy for his/her partner, but he/she will not go on a shopping binge with no other object than to get a thrill from purchasing things, (often needless purchaces).

Now, your fear that no one will love you is groundless. I am sure you are loveable, and capable of love. There is no mental disorder that robs us of the capacity to love another. None. There is no reason to believe that you will &quot;never&quot; be loved. I bet there is some wonderful person out there waiting for you, and will bath you in love and affection, and attention. The problem for people like yourself is not finding a great partner, It is holding on to one&#039;s partner. I mean once the realtionship starts  the ups and downs that normally happen in a relationships are exaggerated by one&#039;s mood fluctuations. Your partner becomes puzzled, then confused, then frustrated, and finally exasperated in his/her efforts to please, sooth, and calm down the partner with moods fluctuations.

Hence, address your mood fluctuations. Address your self harming tendencies. It is frightening for another person to witness the person you love cutting his or herself, (or worse). 

Don&#039;t underestimate yourself. Whether shy, or slightly kooky, you may be a great package for someone, even someone you know. Drop the &quot;I am undeserving&quot; conviction. It doesn&#039;i help at all.

And finally, yes. Plently of people share your challenges, and have great lives, and wonderful partners, and are loved.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Dear laurara&#8230;</p>
<p>I was drawn to your question because it raises many issues that I have wrestled with and pondered. I am not bipolar, but I &quot;know&quot;, (speaking as one who empathizes with people with the disorder), Manic-Depression creates chaos and havoc in a person&#8217;s life. One feels that you are not in control of your own mind, a very frightening emotional place to be. </p>
<p>Also, I am not a shy person, but I have worked with shy people, and respect the fact that it is a temperment, that is to say, an inborn trait. Terry Brazelton, the great pediatrician at Havard Medical School thinks that temperment is evident from birth. </p>
<p>Neither Manic-Depression nor shyness has to be a handicap, although bipolar illness is stigmatized, even by mental health professionals, who should know better. Manic-Depression, if not, addressed will rob you of a lot of healthy, satisfying experiences, and love is certainly one of the most imortant experiences we all can have. That I can say personally. However, I emphasize, &quot;if not addressed&quot;. There is no reason not to be hopeful about your potential prospects for being loved, falling in love, or simply loving. I am not talking about love as a manic state, which can be hard to distinguish from &quot;falling in love,&quot; a state of mind where one (rightly) feels, great, on top of the world, in a kind of ecstatsy over the lucky object of your affections, (hopefully, it is mutaul). The test that distinguishes love from a pathological elavated state (mania, or hypomania) is that lovers, as a rule do not harm themselves, or others. Lovers, as the poets know, while in love, find this world to be a wonderful place. A lover may buy an expense gift to express his/her deep joy for his/her partner, but he/she will not go on a shopping binge with no other object than to get a thrill from purchasing things, (often needless purchaces).</p>
<p>Now, your fear that no one will love you is groundless. I am sure you are loveable, and capable of love. There is no mental disorder that robs us of the capacity to love another. None. There is no reason to believe that you will &quot;never&quot; be loved. I bet there is some wonderful person out there waiting for you, and will bath you in love and affection, and attention. The problem for people like yourself is not finding a great partner, It is holding on to one&#8217;s partner. I mean once the realtionship starts  the ups and downs that normally happen in a relationships are exaggerated by one&#8217;s mood fluctuations. Your partner becomes puzzled, then confused, then frustrated, and finally exasperated in his/her efforts to please, sooth, and calm down the partner with moods fluctuations.</p>
<p>Hence, address your mood fluctuations. Address your self harming tendencies. It is frightening for another person to witness the person you love cutting his or herself, (or worse). </p>
<p>Don&#8217;t underestimate yourself. Whether shy, or slightly kooky, you may be a great package for someone, even someone you know. Drop the &quot;I am undeserving&quot; conviction. It doesn&#8217;i help at all.</p>
<p>And finally, yes. Plently of people share your challenges, and have great lives, and wonderful partners, and are loved.<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: willy wom bat</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-32</link>
		<dc:creator>willy wom bat</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:04:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-32</guid>
		<description>well for a start. don&#039;t say you don&#039;t deserved to be LOVED. because you do. you are HUMAN. EVERY BODY AS A CROSS TO BEAR. so try and stop putting yourself down. try counselling. they will help you in leading a useful life. with no doubt you deserve. good luck.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>well for a start. don&#8217;t say you don&#8217;t deserved to be LOVED. because you do. you are HUMAN. EVERY BODY AS A CROSS TO BEAR. so try and stop putting yourself down. try counselling. they will help you in leading a useful life. with no doubt you deserve. good luck.<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: Nat R</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-31</link>
		<dc:creator>Nat R</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:02:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-31</guid>
		<description>All the time. i suffer from depression and anxiety and a lot of the time, i withdraw from people because I feel they don&#039;t act like they value me as much as other people. The putdowns I received at school and college from guysleft me with low self-esteem and depression. I feel I&#039;mnot good enough and that i&#039;ll never find love. And so far, I&#039;ve been right.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>All the time. i suffer from depression and anxiety and a lot of the time, i withdraw from people because I feel they don&#8217;t act like they value me as much as other people. The putdowns I received at school and college from guysleft me with low self-esteem and depression. I feel I&#8217;mnot good enough and that i&#8217;ll never find love. And so far, I&#8217;ve been right.<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: GER C</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-30</link>
		<dc:creator>GER C</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 14:00:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-30</guid>
		<description>I know where you are coming from although I never self harmed par se. I have lost love because of my condition but with therapy and medication I have improved greatly, to the point where I am no longer trapped in my own self. I have a partner now and I am reasonably content as I have a beautiful daughter. You must gain confidence and find a love if you want one, of course they will love you back, if you are open and honest with them. I wish you luck and peace.&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I know where you are coming from although I never self harmed par se. I have lost love because of my condition but with therapy and medication I have improved greatly, to the point where I am no longer trapped in my own self. I have a partner now and I am reasonably content as I have a beautiful daughter. You must gain confidence and find a love if you want one, of course they will love you back, if you are open and honest with them. I wish you luck and peace.<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: Daisy B</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-29</link>
		<dc:creator>Daisy B</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:58:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-29</guid>
		<description>No, they don&#039;t like you said especially when your Manic! I just find its hard to stay in a relationship but finally I found someone that is sticking by me good or bad!&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>No, they don&#8217;t like you said especially when your Manic! I just find its hard to stay in a relationship but finally I found someone that is sticking by me good or bad!<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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		<title>By: j s</title>
		<link>http://www.semonassociates.com/dating-info/finding-love-and-romance/comment-page-1#comment-28</link>
		<dc:creator>j s</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Sun, 31 Jan 2010 13:56:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.semonassociates.com/finding-true-love/finding-love-and-romance#comment-28</guid>
		<description>no i dont beleave that will stop love from finding you , it just takes time some times , if a person really loves you they will see you for you and not your problems i beleave there is some one out there for everyone  dont just sit around waiting him to find you go out with friend and have fun it will happen when the time is right .... best of luck&lt;br&gt;&lt;b&gt;References : &lt;/b&gt;&lt;br&gt;</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>no i dont beleave that will stop love from finding you , it just takes time some times , if a person really loves you they will see you for you and not your problems i beleave there is some one out there for everyone  dont just sit around waiting him to find you go out with friend and have fun it will happen when the time is right &#8230;. best of luck<br /><b>References : </b></p>
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